Free Range

I learned most of my cooking skills under the tutelage of my mother. On special occasions, when she had a lot of cooking to do, she’d hand me a recipe card and put me to work. We’d work alongside one another, and I’d occasionally ask her what was meant by words like “sift” or “fold.” Now, making those foods reminds me of her, and the time we spent together.

In various holiday seasons, we made sugar cookies with decorative frosting, chocolate candies, and toffee. Many of these delicacies were meant to give away as gifts. One of my favorites was the toffee, so this weekend I endeavored to make some myself. I couldn’t find her recipe, so I searched online and found one called, modestly, “Best Toffee Ever - Super Easy.” I based my cooking on that recipe, but what follows is my adaptation.

Ingredients

2 cups (4 sticks) butter

2 cups sugar

1/4 teaspoon salt

5 Hershey’s chocolate bars

1 cup finely chopped roasted almonds

Directions

In a large saucepan (I used non-stick), combine the butter, sugar and salt. Cook over medium heat, stirring until the butter is melted — then stop stirring. Allow to come to a boil, and cook until the mixture becomes a dark caramel color, and the temperature has reached 285 degrees F.

While the toffee is cooking, cover a large baking sheet with aluminum foil. Break the chocolate bars into small pieces. As soon as the toffee reaches the proper temperature, pour it out onto the prepared baking sheet and spread it with a spatula. Sprinkle the chocolate over the top, and let it set for a minute or two to soften. Once it is melted, spread the chocolate into a thin even layer. Sprinkle the nuts over the chocolate, and press in slightly.

Place the toffee in the refrigerator to chill until set. Break into pieces.

Photo credit: NYRRC

This weekend, we strolled down to the end of our block with Callum and Rory and watched the world stream by. It was the 40th running of the New York City Marathon, and 4th avenue, here in Brooklyn, was one of the main thoroughfares through our borough. As hordes of participants made their way past — whether on wheelchairs or running spiritedly — I shouted and cheered. “Go, France!” I encouraged the runners wearing t-shirts proclaiming their French origins. “Go, Australia!,” I cheered at others. “Go, Italia! Go, Japan! Go, USA! Go, Finland! Go, Denmark!” I have to admit I shouted just a little bit louder in encouragement of people from places I’d been or have a special fondness for. From Denmark, where I spent 5 months as an exchange student. From Texas, where I am from. From Scotland, from which my husband hails.

At one point, early in the cheering, I crouched down next to our 4-year-old, Callum, and explained, “These people came from all around the world to run in this race.” He seemed to understand.

One benefit of living in this very international city is that different cultures, styles and viewpoints are never far away, even when they’re not running by at the end of the block. Daddy is from Scotland. Our neighbor’s Daddy is from Argentina. Our babysitter is from Mexico. We like to think that, by exposing our children to these different influences, they come to realize that there’s a great big world out there beyond our Brooklyn brownstones. And someday, we hope, they’ll get to experience a lot of it themselves.

Knowing about the vastness of the world will, we hope, help them realize that humans living in one place aren’t all that different from those in another. It will help them understand that we all need band together when it comes to global issues like pollution and climate change. And we hope it will help them develop an appreciation for the little cultural gifts contributed by people all over the world — the flavors of pad thai, the joyful exuberance of playing the maracas, and the incredible softness of a scarf made of Chinese cashmere spun in Scotland and knitted in America.

I’ve written this entry as a part of the Tea Collection’s Little Citizens of the World blog contest. They make gorgeous children’s clothes, and I’d love to win a gift certificate. But that doesn’t make my sentiments any less sincere.

This afternoon, I found myself climbing flights and flights of stairs in a subway station, struggling up from the underground “R” line to the above-ground “F” line. Our ride included the highest station in the NYC Subway system, so it’s not surprising so many stairs were involved. It probably wouldn’t have been so strenuous but for the 24-pound child in one arm, the stroller and essentials bag in the other, and the 50-pound 4-year-old ambling along next to me. Slowly but surely, as I walked, Rory would begin slipping down until he was below my hip, and I was forced to stop and switch him from one arm to another, alternating with the umbrella stroller and bag. Reaching the platform meant a momentary respite, until it was time to take the whole parade onto the train. Such was my experience of being a mother of young children today.

I took the day off from work today not to haul kids up stairs, but for a very special reason. Today was Callum’s first day of pre-kindergarten. Unlike in many other school systems, in NYC there’s free, public, “universal”* pre-kindergarten for 4-year-olds, so the school he will attend this year could be the same one he attends until middle school. Essentially, Callum began an educational journey that won’t end until he graduates from high school at 18, or, hopefully, college. It’s a momentous thing.

We’re handing him over to the community, and he’ll spend as much time there, from now on, as he will at home (at least waking hours), on weekdays. He’ll have good teachers (this year’s seems like a good one!), and probably some mediocre ones. He’ll experience bullying and taunting; he’ll make close friendships; he’ll be challenged; he’ll be bored. We’ll do everything we can to smooth his path, but it’s not all up to us now. In not too many years, the opinions of his peers will outweigh those of his parents. The influence of the rest of the world will continue to grow.

It’s been said before that parenting is a continuous process of letting go, and I agree completely. The scenario I described above — in which Callum and Rory were entirely dependent on me to guide them through tunnels and up stairs, even hefting one of them — is today’s reality, but, with age, with our teaching, and with school, I won’t be needed in quite the same way for too much longer. I’m sad, and I’m happy. Mostly, I just want to acknowledge this important rite of passage. Happy first day of school, Callum. We love you always!

(* I put universal in quotes because it’s theoretically available to all, but, in practice, there are fewer spots than applicants.)

Luckily, I couldn’t have a better subject.

Yes, I bought the champagne solely for the romantic pink packaging. I’m looking forward to enjoying it tonight with my sweetheart. It’s chilling now, while he works and I handle the decidedly unromantic job of taking care of the kids all day. Hopefully the bubbly will taste as good as it looks. I think I’m going to need it.

This is about where Rory is in his development, but Rory’s more prone to getting into trouble. Actually, our home is just less babyproofed and big brother also causes chaos. Awesome video. Wish I’d thought of it.

Hat tip to Justin.

Every workday, around three times a day, I stand up, grab my computer from my desk and shuffle off into another small office (in WiFi range, luckily). I shut and lock the door behind me, and I get down to business. Most of my co-workers know where I’m going; those who don’t must wonder where I’m disappearing to. Sometime, I feel like I have a secret life.

Like thousands of other mothers of young children, I spend time behind closed doors expressing breast milk for my baby. Now 7 months old, he’s been drinking from a bottle during the weekdays ever since I went back to work 11 weeks after he was born. I’m writing about this in part because of a New Yorker article that got me thinking about the subject.

From the piece:

Today, breast pumps are such a ubiquitous personal accessory that they’re more like cell phones than like catheters. Last July, Stephen Colbert hooked up to a breast pump on “The Colbert Report.” In August, the Republican Vice-Presidential nominee, Sarah Palin, told People that she has often found herself having to “put down the BlackBerries and pick up the breast pump.” Pumps, in short, abound.

The point of the piece was that activism aimed at protecting pumping, or expressing breast milk, should instead be aimed at reforming maternity leave policies (or establishing workplace childcare centers) in the U.S. After all, in Canada, women get a year off, with pay, after their child is born. I’m pretty sure it’s the same in the U.K. The article contends that there isn’t much research to show that pumped breast milk is better for babies than formula — it says most studies have been done on actual breast feeding, where the baby is physically close to his/her mother.

While I think her point makes sense — it really is a travesty that we don’t place more importance, as a society, on this critical bonding period — it does seem that pumped breast milk has a heck of a lot of benefits. Here’s a 1996 article (free registration required) on Medscape titled “Breastfeeding: Unraveling the Mystery of Mother’s Milk.”

From the abstract:

The composition of human breast milk includes growth factors, hormones, enzymes, and other substances that are immune-protective and foster proper growth and nutrition in the newborn. Research suggests that lactation is robust and that a mother’s breast milk is adequate in essential nutrients, even when her own nutrition is inadequate. Mature breast milk usually has constant levels of about 7g/dL carbohydrate and about 0.9g/dL proteins. But the composition of fats essential for neonatal growth, brain development, and retinal function varies according to a woman’s intake, the length of gestation, and the period of lactation. Vitamins and minerals also vary according to maternal intake. But even when these nutrients are lower in breast milk than in formulas, their higher bioactivity and bioavailability more nearly meet the complete needs of neonates than do even the best infant formulas. Also, in many instances human milk components compensate for immature function, such as a neonate’s inability to produce certain digestive enzymes, immunoglobulin A (IgA), taurine, nucleotides, and long-chain polyunsaturated fatty acids.

This might be a crazy conclusion, but… how could they test these things and find out about the composition of human milk without it being expressed? If it was fed directly to the baby, it would have been impossible to measure, no?

I’m a little biased. I already admitted I’m a pumping mom. And I’ve gone to great lengths to keep it up. With my first child, I had to go down to my car every few hours. I’d hook my pump up to a cigarette lighter adapter, put up the windshield sun protector, drape a receiving blanket or two over the windows, and pump away. I did this even while attending conferences — I know where the “park your own car” parking garages are in San Francisco. I pumped in the bathroom at Google headqurters during a holiday party held for press and analysts. I pumped in a bathroom stall at Oakland airport. On a business trip to New York, my last stop before the airport was at a seller of dry ice, where I topped up my portable cooler — filled with breast milk I’d collected in my hotel room (and stored in a mini-fridge I’d had to request) during the week.

Given all this effort, I’ve got plenty of motivation to justify the benefits of pumped milk. But I wouldn’t have gone to such effort if I didn’t feel strongly that it is worth it. Besides the above biological mumbo-jumbo, the financial rationale alone — especially in the current economic climate — is pretty strong. Throw in factors like the acknowledged presence of melamine and cyanuric acid in US formula, and pumping in bathroom stalls becomes downright appealing.

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Resources for pumping moms:

• Pump Moms Yahoo Group - wonderfully supportive. You have to join to see messages.
  
• Kellymom - fantastic resource for all things about mother’s milk.
  
• NPR interview with Jill Lepore.
  

If anyone has any more, add them in the comments and I’ll put them on this list.

Happy New Year from the whole crew!